


I just want you to know who I am.

by Fightmethensonnyboi



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, BAMF! Jaskier, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Idiots in Love, I’m sorry, M/M, Magic, Mentions of past child abuse, Roach, creature! Jaskier, ive only seen the tv series, monsters and shit, playing fast and lose with canon, yennifer WISHES she could kill these idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 17:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22499527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fightmethensonnyboi/pseuds/Fightmethensonnyboi
Summary: Jaskier after getting utterly heartbroken by Geralt after the dragon hunt, spends his days barely surviving, until said broken heart offends a local witch, leaving Jaskier in desperate need of some supernatural advice... and maybe a nail file?
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 39
Kudos: 510





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, first time writing for this fandom.  
> I have only seen the tv show and read some of the bios of the characters.  
> I just really love jaskier and Geralts entire thing and I want them to be happy.
> 
> Title song is ‘iris by the goo goo dolls’ 
> 
> Enjoy!

Jaskier went down hard as his father stood above him, fist still raised and trembling in anger.  
His eyes were furious as he yanked the young boy up clear off the ground where he landed and shook him.  
“Don’t you _ever_ do that again you hear me boy!?” His rank breath wafted across Jaskiers nose, making the brunette cringe and cry harder.  
His father scoffed and dropped the child, sending him sprawling one again onto his backside, where he scrambled as far away as possible from the hulking man above him.   
The adult sneered down at his frightened, _pathetic_ son and spat onto his ragged, threadbare clothes.  
“If I hear you sing again boy, _I’ll slice your tongue from your devils mouth_ ” he said nastily. He growled, spitting again before leaving the small filthy room.  
The next thing Jaskier heard were the locks clicking in place and heavy footsteps going down the hall.

The young boy sighed as his head hit the wall with a thud. He expected this, truly, he did. His father hated music, music of any kind! On the rare occasion he was let into the ancestral home he would never see a bard, or any form of audio entertainment.  
_'It must make parties quite boring'_ , he thought idly, cracking a small smile as he wiped the tear tracks from his face and standing up shakily from his position on the dusty shack floor.

As long as he could remember he, Julian Alfred Pankratz was segregated from the rest of his family, he didn’t know why so don’t ask him but as he grew he was kept in a shack at the edge of the family property, rarely was he allowed into the house itself, and even then he was to act as a servant to visiting dukes and the like.

His father was the viscount, a title he bore with a bit _too_ much pride, he was the kind of man that would over tax his people just to see them grovel. Jaskier has no idea what his mother was thinking when she wedded him, if it was even consensual. She must have been mad he thought, not for the first time. 

  
Jaskier sighed.walking over to the far wall were two crates that held his few possessions, one for clothes, if that’s what he could even call them, and, well- the other was to hide the hole he Smashed into the back of the shack with a hammer he snuck out of the house a few years ago.

He pushed aside the crates and crawled through the hole, pushing aside the cloth that he’d been using to hide the hole from the outside- not that anyone really cared enough to look.

Jaskier hopped up and dusted himself off, he placed his hands in his pockets and began to walk through the woods towards the town, whistling all the way and admiring the afternoon.  
What happened back at the shack happened more often than one might think, yeah it hurt the bruises on his skin show that he will never be worth anything to anyone, but really life is to short to worry about things like that!   
...Or at least that’s what he tells himself.

Shaking his head, Jaskier skips along the cobbled streets of the town to the local theatre, or well stage would be more accurate as it was nothing more than a wooden platform with a small house attached to the back.

' _The funding for performing arts truly is abysmal_ ' Jaskier thought as he waved a hello to some of the performers readying their instruments for a practice.  
He opens the door to the building and walked to the end of a long hallway to an old wooden door.  
He grinned as he knocked three times on the door.  
“Jadek? Are you home dear fellow?” He called rocking onto the balls of his feet.  
Quick footsteps could be heard from behind the door before it flung open to reveal an elderly man with brightly coloured clothes and a equally bright, large Cheshire Cat grin, “Jaskier my boy! It’s been weeks!” He ruffled the boys hair and ushered him inside. 

Once they had both sat down the lively old man eagerly thrust a Crisp white envelope towards him.   
Jaskier looked up at him his eyes nearly popping out of his skull, “ is this what I think it is?” He exclaimed, the old man nodding at him excitedly.

Jaskier ran his calloused fingers over the red seal of the university of Oxenfurt, marvelling at its potential contents.

Jadek began to ramble about how he talked to his friend, _”who is a professor mind you!”_ At _Oxenfurt_ about _him_ and his _talent,_ asking them to consider an early application to the school for his protege, and that the fact he received a reply _so_ quickly was proof that he was destined for the arts!’

Jaskier tunes him out as his trembling fingers popped open the letter and he began to read.

_‘Dear Julian Alfred Pancratz,_

_We are delighted to inform you..’_

Jaskier let out a whoop and leapt from his chair grabbing his teacher by the shoulders as he shook with excitement.

“ _This is it_ Jadek! I’ll be a bard!” He laughed delightedly before gathering the older man in a hug.  
“oh you old, wonderful badger you! I can finally leave this awful place!” He pulls back to see a kind smile on his mentors face.

The elder bard placed both hands on the fifteen year olds shoulders “this wasn’t my doing son, you did this” he wiped a tear from his eye.

“We are so proud of you” he glanced behind Jaskier who whirled around to where the rest of the performers where standing at the doorway clapping and shouting their congratulations.

Jaskier felt tears on his cheeks once more as they crowded around him careful not to touch him and trigger a negative reaction from him.

The chatter died down as Jadek waddled his way to an engraved box on the corner of his desk and took out a large jingling pouch.

He placed himself in front of Jaskier and placed the bag in the boys hands even as he shook his head.

Jadek motioned to the people in the room, who at this point were all in tears.  
“listen now little buttercup, the wagon to Oxenfurt leaves in a matter of two days from now, in the next town over you hear me? the travel won’t be cheap, and if you leave now you’ll be able to make it in time for the beginning of term and you must have an instrument by then you understand?” He said sternly, grunts of agreement echoing all around drowning out Jaskier as he went to protest. 

Jaskier was still in shock when Jadek tucked his letter into a small pocket on his chest and ushered him back out the door with a smack on the back, sending him stumbling into the street once more.

Jaskier turned and grinned as he saw the troupe- no his _family_ wave at him as they yell at him to _go-_

And before he knew it the wind was flying through the air as his feet carried him back to the hell that he called a home hooting his pleasure into the now dark sky, he dove through the hole in the back of the shack and tore through the crate full of clothes to find the warmest, travel appropriate clothes he could find, grabbing a tattered old sack at the bottom and stuffing his things in as quick as possible.

Crawling through the opening, he looked around the front of the shack cautiously, checking for guards before he sprinted to the stables eyes wild as they darted from horse to horse spotting the kind old mare that allowed him to feed her sometimes darted over and readied her for travel.

It wasn’t until he was out onto the road galloping towards his future that he allowed himself to sing his excitement,   
Throwing his hands to the sky as he laughed.

That was how Julian Alfred Pancratz, began his journey to be known as the bard Jaskier, and to even later be known as the Witcher’s companion.  



	2. Creature features.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier gets depressed, vents, gets confused and then has his worse nightmare come to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> For some reason ao3 wouldn’t let me make this multi chapter which was strange but hopefully I fixed it!
> 
> Songs used are ‘her sweet kiss’ from the series and ‘hello my old heart’ by the oh hellos.
> 
> Enjoy!

Ever since Geralt raged at him on top of the mountain Jaskier had not been himself.

He knows he wasn’t himself because all he could bring himself to sing were ballads about _heartbreak_ of all things!  
Which was preposterous of course, he fell in love with everyone! What was one Witcher to the army of lovers he has had? 

Except Jaskier knew that although he and Geralt had not been in anyway romantic or sexually connected (Well, Geralt could speak for himself),jaskier was head over heels before he ever even approached him.

Pining was no stranger to him, so why could he not get the thought of the snowy haired warrior from out of his head?

_“I am weak my love and I am wanting”_ Jaskier strums idly as he strolls into a small village, strangely empty if not for a few groups women gossiping on the side of the streets, whispering behind their hands.

Jaskier eyes them carefully as he heads towards what _looks_ like the nearest tavern, if there’s one thing he learnt while with geralt it was to pay attention to one’s surroundings.  
Especially if they were being suspicious as _fuck_.

He pushed open the door to the tavern, hearing the tittering of voices inside and strides over to the barkeep.  
Jaskier puts on his best grin and leans one arm against the grimy surface of the bar.

“Hello good sir! any chance I might exchange some entertainment for a bed this evening?” He asks as cheerily possible, not wanting to show how weary he truly was.  
The barman looks blankly at him and nods grunting and nodding towards a dusty corner of the tavern with an even dustier stool.   
‘ _How charming’_ he thinks cheekily, placing his doublet over the stool and bending down to open up his case and place it towards the front where people could throw their coin.  
‘ _Though_ ’, he thinks as he looks upon the miserable faces of his adoring crowd ‘ _it_ _doesn’t seem very likely_ ’ 

He shakes his shoulders before letting out a breath and closing his piercing eyes.

_“The fairer sex, they often call it_

_But her love’s as unfair as a crook_ ”

And that’s how he spends his evening, singing and belting out his heartbreak for a tavern full of strangers,in a strange town. He sang almost into the late hours of the night, or that’s what it felt like when he came to his last song.

His eyes felt damp as he cleared his throat, the women of the town had gathered into a crowed in the tavern and were all looking at him forlornly.

He announces that this will be his last song, to the disappointed coos of the ladies before straightening up and strumming.

“ _Hello, my old heart_  
 _How have you been?_  
 _Are you still there inside my chest?_  
 _I've been so worried, you've been so still_  
 _Barely beating at all.._

_Oh, oh, don't leave me here alone_   
_Don't tell me that we've grown_   
_For having loved a little while_   
_Oh, oh, I don't wanna be alone_   
_I wanna find a home_   
_And I wanna share it with you_

  
_Hello, my old heart_   
_It's been so long_   
_Since I've given you away_   
_And every day, I add another stone_   
_To the walls I built around you_   
_To keep you safe_

_Oh, oh, don't leave me here alone_   
_Don't tell me that we've grown_   
_For having loved a little while_

  
_Oh, oh, I don't wanna be alone_   
_I wanna find a home_   
_And I wanna share it with you_

  
_Hello, my old heart_   
_How have you been?_   
_How is it being locked away?_   
_Don't you worry, in there, you're safe_   
_And it's true, you'll never beat_   
_But you'll never break_

  
_Nothing lasts forever_   
_Some things aren't meant to be_   
_But you'll never find the answers_   
_Until you set your old heart free_   
_Until you set your old heart free_   
_Hello, my old heart_   
_Hello, my old heart_   
_Hello, my old heart_   
_Hello, my old heart_   
_Hello, my old heart_   
_Hello, my old heart..”_

  
He thinks of the last few months, him _alone_ , unable to even _look_ at another let alone _sleep_ with them, dreams of sunlight eyes dancing behind his closed eyelids.  
He thinks of the smell of leather Oil and alchemical potions, the feel of rough, callused hands gripping shoulders or pushing him out the way of danger and of soft nudges from a chestnut brown horse when he speaks to her.  
its all just, Geralt, Geralt, Geralt.

He wipes his eyes as he stands placing his lute back into the case, mindful of the coins gathering at the bottom, eager to count them in his room.

He didn’t even notice how the room went quiet or how the towns people quietly left the tavern as a red headed woman slinked into the tavern and towards the bard.

“That was a wonderful performance”

The brunette jumped as he twirled on the spot to see a beautiful woman, with shining red hair and sparkling amber eyes leaning agains the wall, inches from his person, a coy smile Dancing on her lips.

He chuckled nervously as his eyes swept the empty tavern before pinning his eyes on her, making sure he was positioned behind the stool.

“Why thank you my lady, but I’m afraid that I’m quite tired this evening and was just about to-“ he was cut off as the woman suddenly vanishes, leaving him shit scared as he feels a Hand in his hair and another on his hip. 

He gulps nervously and sweats as soft lips bite at his ear.

“ you sing of such heartbreak little one” she says hypnotically, patronisingly into his ear.  
“I would be honoured to soothe the ache”the purr rumbles through into his Chest as her hand slips from his waist to linger over his heart.

Jaskier somewhat _(extremely)_ disturbed as he gently grabs the redheads hands and shrugs himself out of her stifling embrace,He inches towards the door as he gives a wan smile,  
“I’m afraid not my lady, i have uh, some rather urgent business to attend to!” He fumbles for the door handle, not turning his back on the most _definite_ witch who was staring at him in shock and anger.

He grabs the handle with fumbling fingers and gives it a yank-only to find himself pushed roughly into the wall by some force as the woman stalks darkly towards him.

“What _are_ you? No being could resist my magic!- unless..?” The witch knocks her forehead against jaskier roughly as jaskier yelps.  
Her eyes burn bright as they bore deep into his own and a wave of dizziness overtakes him as she begins to cackle, pulling back from him as he sticks to the door.

“ ha! This _truly_ is perfect! You thought you could _trick_ me did you, bard? You will soon learn I am not one to be trifled with! I wonder how people would react if they know what you really were!” She cackles still as green light spills from her fingers. And then jaskier feels as though he has had something removed and put back at simultaneously as he screams his agony to the heavens.

* * *

His body is heavy as he awakes and a taste of copper lingers in his mouth.  
When his vision clears he finds himself on a straw mattress in what he thinks is his room in the tavern.  
Memories come rushing back as he heaves himself up from the mattress and notices a faint blue tinted light on the sheets. He frowns as he searches for its source only to find it wherever his eyes land.

His eyes finally land on the cracked mirror opposite the bed and he gasped out a sob.

Tears spill over as he sees bright turquoise eyes literally _glow_ , seemingly burning into his own soul, his hand comes over his mouth to stifle himself before he feels a pricking sensation as thin elongated fangs nick his palm. His hands do not linger and instead frisk his body for other irregularities.

More being the smattering of blue and black scales scattered across his body, mainly his limbs and chest and the _talons_ that now replace his nails much too long and too sharp to even _consider_ playing his lute.  
Hell, even his _ears_ had changed! Instead of just cartilage there was some sort of bright blue and black spotted fins? On his ear? 

Jaskier quickly threw a blanket over the mirror as he curled into a ball and sobbed.

And he was once again overcome with the feeling of hopelessness, the likes of which he had not felt since he left his own personal hell.


	3. A blight upon humanity.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I make jaskier Edward scissor hands, and something wicked this way comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bore da!  
> I made jaskier in my own image, emo.  
> I don’t know why but I enjoyed writing the interactions between jaskier and yen The most while writing this.  
> They totally have a weird sibling energy thing going and I am H E R E for it!  
> I hope you all enjoy!

When Jaskier found himself able to move without having a breakdown, he notices that the tavern is dead silent, not a single sound, not the sound of patrons, or the wind, _nothing_.

He crept as silently as possible into every room of the tavern to find clothes, half finished drinks and in one case,even a half finished letter but _no people_.

And the thing was- call him crazy but everything seemed old.

Jaskier felt uneasy as he looked through the forgotten remnants of a town that was at least a few decades since abandoned and against his better judgement, he began to search for more suitable clothes that would hide his more.. _unpleasant_ features.

Well, he was trying to, his stupid, _fucking_ \- claws? _Talons_?- anyway, his stupid nails kept shredding anything that wasn’t hard material, it was like he had tiny knifes attached to his fingers! He loudly mourned his lack of fashion choices by groaning and halfheartedly thunking his head against the stone wall.

 _Only_ \- funny thing really, the fucking thing _cracked_.

Which of course triggered round two of hysterical screaming and crying.

But anyway after that little fun piece of information, he finally found something that he could wear!...though it was a bit too, well _Geralt_ for his taste.

He found a long sleeved shirt with open cuffs, silver lilies embroidered onto the collar along with a sturdy pair of leather pants that were slightly harder to poke holes into. (They were honestly a bit too snug but beggars can’t be choosers)

He found some black already untied boots at the door at some poor buggers bed, a bit worn but at least he won’t break the laces trying to unpick the knots.

He had found a knee length navy cloak on the rack by the entrance and after settling it on his shoulders,pulling the hood up he settled his lute on his shoulders and braved the town outside.

Unsurprisingly it too was devoid of life, but before he left Jaskier searched for something to place over his beacon-like eyes, he eventually stumbled into what at least looked like a optometrist shop, which was, strange to say the least in a town such as this.

He was perusing the aisles when he found a small section of flamboyantly coloured glasses, they were the most expensive in the entire shop and most likely cost more than his life, but needs must of course.

He plucked a pair of round, silver rimmed glasses with red tinted glass that gleamed the colour of rubies in the sunlight.

He placed them on the bridge of his nose and- lo and behold, no more weird glowing. He glanced at himself in the mirror and, while he may not look as monstrous as he did before, he looked nothing at all like himself.  
No colourful clothing or sparkling blue eyes, only a dark silhouette and glinting red glass.

Jaskier sniffles and almost goes to wipe his eyes only to nearly jab his eye out with his new modifications.

He can’t even _cry_ normally.

With a sigh Jaskier looks around the empty town, hoisting the comforting weight of his lute higher on his shoulders he walks towards his destiny.

* * *

  
Jaskier hasn’t looked like Jaskier for about a month now, he isn’t really keeping track, it’s been enough time that his hair has grown long enough to be wavy, to be able to hide the fins of his ears and for him to grow the barest amount of stubble (he’s always had a baby face).

And during this time he has learnt many things.

1\. He can now see the darkness as if it is daylight, probably because _his eyes fucking glow._

2\. He can, fucking, apparently throw grown ass men twice his size through _walls_ and in one memorable occasion _through a boulder._ (don’t ask)

3\. The tiny knifes thing? Not an exaggeration his talons have been able to cut through trees and weak metals.  
_Hell_ , the only way he can control the sharpness of them is by using a steel metal file that he looted from a blacksmiths in a town he was passing by. And he was even wearing a hole in that!

4\. He now knows the pain of Geralt of rivia. In the first few villages and towns he wondered into, searching for a mage or- frankly any type of magic user- he had, shall we say slipped up? A little? All it took at that point were a few village thugs trying to rough him up in public, usually by going for his hood or his hands, and within moments he would know the pain of rocks hitting his head and of spit and even rotten fruit being thrown.

But nothing could compare to the words.

“ _Monster”_

_“Demon”_

_“Abomination”_

They had even spread rumours about him you know? He even gained a nickname; _“The blight”_

Jaskier sighed from where he reclined against a tree, a crackling fire warming him, even as some deep instinctual voice told him to cower away from it.

‘ _Stop it_ ’ he told himself, _‘unless you’d like to freeze to death, **pack.it.in** ’ _

He used his palm to scratch at his hip in discomfort, his hips had been unbearably sore for some reason. Probably from the last town he’d gotten booted from, there had been a mage there, of course he hadn’t listens to jaskier and had tried to dissect him.  
He failed.

Jaskier still couldn’t scrub the blood from underneath his nails.

The fire began to flicker as a strong wind swept through the gathering of trees and instantly jaskier was on high alert.

He flung his hood up with a flick of his wrist and adjusted his glasses on his nose.

He quietly shifted into a crouch and waited.

From out of the darkness at the other side of the clearing stepped out a dark haired violet haired beauty.

“What the _fuck_ happened to you”

Jaskier stood and rolled his eyes from behind his glasses.

“Yennifer truly _wonderful_ to see you, not attempting to channel any dark forces _this_ time hmm?” He said sweetly, lisping slightly due to his fangs. He didn’t really talk much anymore.

She raised a single eyebrow and looked him up and down.  
“I thought dumb and dark was more Geralts shtick, but I must say it looks splendid on you” she smirks.  
Jaskier leans back against the tree, his eyes still fixed on her.

“Why are you here yennifer?” He said plainly, worried that somebody sent her after him.

The mage crosses her arms and looks at him with an unreadable expression.  
“I was told to find the Witcher’s bard, who has been missing an entire month, by” she huffs a laugh “ let’s say a mutual friend” 

Jaskier stares at her for a moment before sitting down “well you found me “ he says dismissively, “now off you pop!, don’t you have a life to ruin or something?”

Yennifer uncrosses her arms and tuts “you see, I’d love to be doing just that but I’ve been asked to bring you back with me” her voice has an unreadable tone to it.

Jaskier immediately tenses and leaps up from the floor.

He begins to walk away.

“I’m not going anywhere with anyone”  
He hears the sound of Yennifer walking behind him and speeds up, not quite running, making it _very_ obvious he wants to be left alone.

He hears a huff of outrage.

“ _Excuse_ me? I didn’t say you had a choice!” She goes to grab him and the little voice in jaskier a head says to **_just kill her._**

Jaskier instead flinches away and rounds up on her. He slips his glasses down his nose to meet Yennifer’s wide eyes stare. 

_“don’t touch me”_ he growls, the light from his eyes reflecting in her purple irises.

He leans in closer more irate by the second.  
“ I don’t care who this person is, but I haven’t been jaskier for some time now.” He folds his hood down, lifts up a clawed hand and wiggles his fingers in a mockery of a wave.  
“ but honestly, do tell them that ‘ _the blight’_ says hi” he gives a fake grin, his elongated canines making it look more like a grimace. 

He whirls around on the spot and tries heads towards the campsite to retrieve his things before his foot slips through the floor and all he knows is _black_.


	4. old friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nos da bawb,  
> i've had a time tbh i couldn’t get this chapter quite the way i wanted to turn out but i managed it! all of your comments have been lovely to read and i'm so thankful that people are enjoying reading this as i enjoy writing it!  
> enjoy!

_Jaskier was swimming in a blue tinted void, the echoes of song broadcasting throughout the darkness. A not quite a voice rings out._   
_“Find water”_   
_Jaskier has enough consciousness to be confused._   
_“Find water” the not voice says again, more insistent._

_But before Jaskier an answer, the blue becomes black and he knows no more._

Jaskier comes to hazily, blinking the spell from his lazy mind.

“I don’t care who you think you are _bard,_ you don’t ever turn your back on a mage”

His vision clears up as Yennifer walks to hover over his body.  
“Especially _me_.” Her words are harsh as she helps him sit up, though he recovers quickly.

Jaskier grunts and looks around the room, he notices his cloak and lute in the corner of the room, which he studies with a critical eye- it seemed as if he’s been taken to some sort of town house, much like when he and the Witcher first met the witch.

Jaskier settles on the bed he’s been deposited on and rests on his stomach his head cradled in his hands and his legs kicking the air.

He cocks an eyebrow “ I’ll, keep it in mind, _why am I here_ ” he says impatiently.

Yennifer scoffs and moves to sit on the chair beside the bed.   
“Interesting, haven’t I told you already?” She eyes his claws as they begin to threateningly tease the wall, Jaskier giving her a shit eating grin.  
She rolls her eyes “please, you think I own this house? You throwing a tantrum will have no effect on me little bard”

“Ah, still enchanting nobles to do your bidding? How very _pedestrian_ of you” Jaskier snipes flinging himself from the bed to stand before her. “Though really, when can I leave? I tend not to linger around where I’m not, shall we say- _welcome?_ ” Yennifer just smiles at him before tilting her head to the side and calling out “you can come in now, Witcher”

Jaskier pales as the sound of doors opening echo through the chamber, his hands shake as heavy, yet _so familiar_ footsteps head towards his position. 

his mind is racing as he turns around to see harsh, sunlight eyes pin him.

 _“Geralt-?_ ”

“Yen what is this?” 

Jaskier shuts his mouth with a click as the Witcher addresses the mage.  
“I thought you were searching for Jaskier, what is this?” The Witcher says in his achingly familiar cadence-

Wait-did he just say ‘ ** _what’?_ ,** not _“who is this_ no, no, no but _‘what is this’?! is he having a laugh?_

Jaskier frowned “I know it’s been a while Geralt but apart from some obvious differences I haven’t changed that much!” He says, offended.  
The _gall_ of this bloody man!

Geralts eyes look at him up and down, his gaze lingering on his ears and hands before settling on his eyes.

He looks again at yennifer “ last I checked, Jaskier wasn’t a creature?” 

Jaskier went stock still. 

He turned to look at yennifer “well, _thank_ you for the hospitality, but I’m afraid I _must_ be going” he turns on his heel and sidesteps Geralt who looks bewildered and moves to go collect his things.

Settling his glasses back on his nose, he readied himself to leave, taking another glance at Geralt.

“ I wouldn’t want to bestow anymore _misfortune_ to the great Geralt of Rivia” he rips open a door as a shocked _“Jaskier?”_ Travels after him.

He barely makes it out of the hallway before his arm is grabbed and he comes to an abrupt stop.  
Turning his burning gaze on the Witcher jaskier grabs Geralts wrist and Rips his grip off.

“ _Don’t touch me_ , after the _filth_ you spat from your mouth the last time I saw you, you don’t deserve to even look at me, even like this!” He hisses his eyes narrowed and pupils practically slits within his iris.

He notes that geralt looks ashamed “ _Jaskier_ I’m sorry, I was wrong” his normally stoic expression is pained as his sunflower eyes shine with remorse."i was angry, and upset and if i still had the Djinn's wishes i would spend _every single one of them_ trying to make it up to you."

Jaskier seemed to curl in on himself, his expression more upset than anything.  
“Y’know, I think that’s the most emotion you’ve ever shown me, Geralt.” He sighs and the fight just, _bleeds_ out of him.  
“I...I _really_ don’t want this conversation right now Geralt, too much has changed since last we saw each other and we _hardly_ parted on good terms” he waves a gesture at his body.

“ and now _this_ , I’m- I don’t even know what I _am_ , I haven’t bathed in _months_ , I can’t even play my bloody _lute_!” He places his back to the wall and sinks down, curling up into a ball as Geralt stands awkwardly in front of him.

The bard hears then shuffling of feet, then a sharp sigh followed by the creaking of leather as Geralt sits next to him placing a gentle hand on Jaskiers shoulder.  
The act of affection causes tears to spring to the emotionally worn brunette and against his better judgement he slumps against Geralts shoulder as tears stream down his face and muffled whimpers escape from him.

  
They’d been sitting there awhile in somewhat uncomfortable silence when an amused voice, cuts through the night.

"if the both of you would stop being emotionally constipated, i've had a bath drawn for the bard." she raises an eyebrow at they're huddled forms.

" though if were being honest, you both smell equally as nasty." she waits as Jaskier flushes red and stands up from Geralt, his hand rubbing up and down his arm still feeling the Witchers lingering warmth, he glances at Geralt, who looked almost _disappointed._

"i'll _uh,-_ i'll see you in a bit yeah?'

Geralts affirming " _Hmm"_ makes him smile slightly as he is lead through the hallway and into a lavish bathroom with a large circular tub residing in the middle.

yennifer leaves as he clumsily gets undressed, hopping from foot to foot, peeling the pants from his legs and walks hesitantly, his blood seems to sing as he walks closer to the bath, the voice in his head seemingly chirping with delight.

he hesitates just as he goes to set foot in the water, he has a well-not a _bad_ feeling, but a _feeling_ none the less as he hovers above the water. Jaskier shakes his head, ' _its only water'_ he thinks sceptically _' what bad can it do?'_

though as soon as he is submerged, his vision turns white and the air fills with the sound of inhuman, ear-bleeding, screeching.


	5. Help I’m a fish.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier is as angsty as Geralt is awkward And yennifer just wants to go the fuck to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prynhawn da pawb!
> 
> I’m very sorry for the late update! I’m a few weeks into my FMP for college, and it’s only going to get tougher from here, but all your kudos and comments have really helped me get back on track!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Pain, every inch of Jaskier was bursting in absolute pain, his vision was speckled with black, and he could barely feel the water against his wings as he thrashed.

_Wait_.

He sobbed out in chest-heaving pain as he pried his tightly shut eyes to reveal-scales, glittering black and blue _scales_ , burrowing up like beetles from beneath his skin, blood flowing freely and heavily into the water as his legs began to fuse and melt together.

Jaskier wailed and thrashed , only just hearing the sound of hurried footsteps as the itch of his hips got worse.

Jaskier let out a volley of inhuman noises as the flesh of his lower back and hips split and wings burst through his skin, covered in red viscera and glistening in the candlelight.

Geralt and Yennifer slammed through the door not even a second later, as Jaskiers elongated tail grew fins, as the bard was still screaming and thrashing.

Geralt _threw_ himself at the bard without a moment of hesitation and pinned him down attempting to stop him from clawing his flesh off, before the bard buffeted him away with his newest additions, sending a shocked Geralt nearly through a wall.

Jaskier gives out a last screech of pain, before his voice died down and a plume of turquoise energy burst around the room sending Yennifer back through the doors of the bathroom and cracking the wall behind Geralt.

The bard on the other hand was tittering in the most peculiar manner, luckily not unconscious, but he dazedly ran his taloned fingers over the raised patterns of scales where his legs should have been, his wings and tail hung awkwardly out of the bath, spilling over the sides dripping blood and whatever else onto the marbled floor.

Yennifer stumbled back into the room at the same time Geralt groaned and heaved himself up from the floor, rubbing at his head. 

“I’m a _monster_ ” a quiet voice says.

  
They looked , only to see Jaskier -who is always seemingly full of life-with a dead look in his eyes. Running a sharper than before looking nail gently down the side of the bath, the metal tearing like butter and sending the dirty water pouring through the gap.

Geralts eyes were wide as he stared at his friend, not quite knowing what to think.

“You’re not human”

“Aren’t I?”

Jaskier was still, unmoving and distraught.

Yennifer took him all in in amazement.

“ I don’t think I understand, your not just a _siren_ \- you’re a sea witch” she runs a hand through her raven hair, her sharp eyes pinned on the traumatised bard. “ sea witches are sirens with obscure colouring,” she waves a hand at his black and neon blue scales “ and they live much deeper out to sea than regular sirens, _how_ \- _why_ -?” She loses her train of thought.

  
“..well this was unexpected” Geralt’s voice resonated through the room.

Jaskier managed a weak chuckle at that and swinged his head to look at an uneasy yennifer, who looked at him with something akin to pity.

“Any chance you can get rid of this?” His eyes were desperate even as his face remained carefully blank.  
“I can’t exactly preform like this” he continues semi-seriously.

Geralt just stared at him, his face a mask of confusion“do you honestly care for nothing else?” He asks gruffly as he eyed the wings and-well _the_ _tail_.

Jaskier looked him dead in the eyes “no? Geralt, singing, playing- _performing_? It’s my life, just like being a Witcher is yours” he sighs and thunks his head back against the now blood stained metal of the bath.

Yennifer stared at his tail for an uncomfortable amount of time. She came to the lip of the bath and tapped her finger against it, ignoring the bards raised eyebrow and the Witcher’s glower.

Yennifer seemed to have made up her mind when her eyes dart to jaskiers . “I want to try something” she said already rubbing her hands together borderline menacingly .  
Jaskier tiredly rolled his eyes, gesturing lazily to the rest of his scaled appendages.

“Be my guest, oh powerful sorceress” he breathed sarcastically glancing at Geralt, only to see him standing to the side awkwardly with a concerned look on his face.  
Yennifer huffed as she raised a palm over the brunettes form and slowly chaos filled the air.

A hot wind seemed to circulate jaskier, causing him itch and his tail to twitch,   
But soon he could feel himself drying out, and when he looked down he was greeted to the grotesque view of his scales burrowing back underneath his skin as his very bones cracked and split again once more, his leathery wings creaking as they shrunk and melded to his hips, leaving only raised scar-like imprints on his skin.

Though surprisingly, it didn’t hurt this time, it was horrifically uncomfortably and somewhat sickening to watch.

But this time Jaskier was too tired to keep awake and promptly fainted as the blurry form of his Witcher arrived at his side.

Yennifer shared a look with Geralt who gingerly scooped up the bard into his embrace. His sunflower eyes pained as they looked at his limp form.

“You realise that this isn’t a curse or a spell” she stated crossing her arms over her chest.

The Witcher sighed, and nodded, only brightening up when the bard in his arms nuzzled closer to his chest, his nose resting against his neck.

He was smiling.

  
Yennifer rubbed her face with her hands as she turned away from the sweet scene and bid a goodnight to the Witcher, who had honestly barely noticed, more preoccupied with his little minstrel curled against him.

He carefully walked from the bathroom into his own bedroom and placed jaskier on the bed.

The bard mumbled something as the Witcher pulled the covers over his naked, modified body and tucked the edges in tightly around him. 

He stared at the soft features of the former human and ever so softly caressed his cheek, slightly rough from the months without care.  
His heart echoed with regret even as he laid down next to his bard and Surrendered to a fitful rest. 


End file.
